Monsters Under My Bed

Here's a scary thought -- we are taught the world is one way when it is actually another. For ejemplo, everyone "knows" that married French men have mistresses in addition to wives, and nobody cares. However, there is the veneer of care, in that we claim to abhor adultery; that's how we're socialized, and that veneer passes for happiness (or, at least, contentment). Then we shriek about secret prisons abroad, where 'enemy combatants' are incarcerated; we act surprised when Cheney won't release any documentation. Paranoia becomes an act of community; we are made community by whom we fear. We give lip service to welcome, to tolerance, to the best ideas of humanity but secretly hoard (then revere) the worst because that's what truly holds us together.

More Wackiness Online

So this blissfully unaware and incompetent freakazoid responded to an online profile. You know the one -- the one that prompted another retardate to email the commandant's office of the United States Marine Corps to tell 'em a war criminal was on the loose in southern California. Anywho, here's the exchange:

Nice2b
2007-07-11 18:54:59 Nice and damn "hard" profile but i bet that is just the way you are or maybe not??? hard shell and VERY soft cell?? Maybe you can answer my very first question on my profile??? Have a good one, like your pix, nice, but U R just too much of a TOP. Steffl

(So -- does he want a response or doesn't he? He likes my pics, but I'm "just too much of a TOP" whatever that means. Does anyone know what language this is? Is his message "I was interested until I read the text"? Oh, let's respond anyway.)

BigDumbDawg
2007-07-11 19:06:38 Thanks for your judgmental attitude.

Nice2b
2007-07-12 16:00:54 sorry, but you looked so damn nice to me on your pics until i got to read your entire profile and your notes... I still believe that there has to be a SOFT touch to you! Your older (rowing) pics where good too. You see i do watch you already a long time

BigDumbDawg
2007-07-12 18:33:35 I don't row. Never have. Interesting how you decompensate ("you looked so damn nice to me on your pics until...."). Take your arrogance elsewhere; it's unappealing.

Nice2b
sorry, won't happen again, but i am 4 sure not arrogant, never been and hope never will be? You do look very nice (and sexy) in your profile pix. It's only that this 1 pic looked so brutal to me :-( Hope you take my apology. Good night 4 now, STEFFL.

He's not arrogant? Last time I checked, making assumptions and being utterly immune to another's input is de facto arrogance. (And truly, I have never rowed a day in my life. The sport doesn't appeal to me. But let's not trifle over things like facts.)

Curiously, this wasn't the first time I'd heard from the guy. The first time he wrote me, it was to say this:

nice2b
2007-06-18 15:38:01 your favorite pic = that shows how different prefferences are!! You have a great day hunky man. Regards from Bavaria, STEFFL

BigDumbDawg
I disagree. It shows how different focii are.

Hear that, world? PREFERENCES ARE DIFFERENT!! HAVE A GREAT DAY!!

Cynical me, making fun of dolts who truly have nothing to say, but are enamored of the sound of their own voice. Back in sixth grade, we had a name for this condition: Diarrhea of the Mouth.

Still reading? Want to know what the "very first question" on his profile is? He asks, "EXCUSE ME, BUT WHAT IS "ALL AMERICAN" am i 100% All Bavarian or did you US guys forget your descent??" I weep for language, but that is another post. (I also weep for people who are clearly unable to express their thoughts in written form. Then I am reminded of a statistic a psychiatrist friend once shared with me: 60 percent of any given population never achieves abstract thought.)