You scored as Violent, You are violent. To you there is nothing better than a good spank. You like scratching and biting 'cause that's what people are for.
What is your sexual style? created with QuizFarm.com |
It's twue, it's twue.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Klytus, I'm Bored
It's twue, it's twue.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
May Day M'Aidez
THE DATE: 28 APR 07
THE PROFILE:
Former MOS 0311, 5565, looking for friends, and one good and lasting battlebuddy, former/AD military prefered; USMC much prefered. I am a humorless, blood-thirsty, baby-killing automaton. Civilians interested in contact should familiarize themselves with the points below:
How to Handle a Jarhead
1) Realize that when he says he will lay down his life for you, he actually means it; respond accordingly.
2) Realize that for him, flirting is a contact sport, like unto rugby (and while he may not be the brightest guy around, you'll be surprised at how what he says will hit you).
3) Know he is vulgar, has a juvenile sense of humor, swears a lot, but is still the kind of guy you'd be proud to take home to yer mother (and he'll probably inform your father that his intentions toward you are indeed honorable). He also has impeccable table manners.
4) Know that when he cries, he fooken means it; he has the same understanding of you. (There is enough in this life that will make him cry, but don't expect him to admit to it if pressed.)
5) Know that the motto, "Courage, honor, commitment" is not a collection of buzzwords to him; they guide him in how he lives his life. If he fails, gently remind him; he expects it of you.
6) Know that he will never be rich, but he will always share whatever he has.
7) Know that when he apologizes, you must never, ever tell anyone (unless one absolutely *must* be so informed).
8) Never, ever, under any circumstances ask what he's done in battle. He'll bring it up when or if it's time.
9) Know that he will fook you through the wall, make you shoot when your cock is soft, and has the sweetest pussy you'll ever get into.
10) It has been said of jarheads, "The best friend you'll ever have, the worst enemy you'll ever make. " Whoever said it wasn't kidding.
Further details at http://proverbsforparanoiacs.blogspot.com.
Inane responses will be handled in an appropriate manner. If masculinity is a fashion accessory for you -- most of you who suffer from this affliction refuse to recognize yourselves -- stay away. There are plenty of dorks to pork you; I'm not one of them.
THE EXCHANGE:
bodybuildRUF 2007-04-28 18:51:24
nice sentiments bud, too bad you & other military die-hards are having their "duty honor country" bullshit patriotism totally abused by mass-murderer war-criminal abject liars the likes of empty-headed "junior" bush and "big-time" corporate-mafioso cheney
BigDumbDawg 2007-04-28 20:16:12
Thanks for the insult. Perhaps you'd like to try again, only this time, say, "I don't know why any self-respecting gay man would ever want to be in the military."
bodybuildRUF
I don't know why a self-respecting American male of ANY persuasion would put up with participating in a military that has become such a reprehensible tool of mass murder & brutality under crypto-fascist Bush & Cheney. They give a flying fuck about freedom
BigDumbDawg
Why the fook are you giving me such a hassle? Did I ask for your opinion? NO. So why don't you just fook off to your own little corner and shut the fook up?
bodybuildRUF
btw, the baby-killer remark is not only disgusting & reprehensible (and evidently, not an uncommon activity perpetrated by our valiant stud soldiers in Iraqi civilian neighborhoods), but would subject you to the same charge of murder as any other homicide
BigDumbDawg
FOOKEN LEAVE ME ALONE!!! NOW! I DID NOT ASK FOR YOUR OPINION, YOU FOOKEN WROTE ME WITH ALL YOUR INSULTING GARBAGE! NOW FOOK OFF!! YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE MEN I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED! I AM NOT INTERESTED! LEAVE ME BE!
I have reported you to the webmasters of this site for your continuing harassment. Stop now, or I will pursue this matter in court.
bodybuildRUF
How dare you call me "morally reprehensible" when it is YOU who presents such disgusting immoral garbage in your BM profile that I merely happened to come across. Take your fucking phoney military bravado and shove it up your miserably ugly fat ass, pal
BigDumbDawg
Again, stop or I will pursue this matter in court. You are only building the case against you and BM.
bodybuildRUF
I'm sorry, but when I read you bragging that you are a "baby-killing automaton" (even if that is just your attempt at humorous bragadocio) I was sickened. Do you have any idea how many actual babies are incinerated every day by American bombing in Iraq.
BigDumbDawg
STOP WRITING TO ME!!!! NOW!!! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOWNOW NOW!!! I DO NOT WANT CONTACT WITH YOU!!! STOP WRITING ME!! YOU WROTE ME OF YOUR OWN ACCORD ONLY TO HURL INSULTS AT ME!!! STOP IT!!!NOW!!! THIS FOOKEN INSTANT!!! STOP IT! YOU WILL BE SUED FOR STALKING!
bodybuildRUF
Don't worry man, this is my last message. At first your reprehensible ravings made me angry (would you like me to link you to websites of actual photos of children murdered by America's military) but now I realize you are unhinged. Get professional help
BigDumbDawg
SHUT UP!!! JUST FOOKEN SHUT UP AND FOOKEN LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU FREAK!!!
THE COMMENTARY:
C'mon, it's a blog; there's always commentary. Aside from the entertainment value of a St. Petersburg-dwelling liberal fascist going for blood for no discernible reason, let's take a look at what he does.
I like the curiously sexualized language in reference to the despised military ("our valiant stud soldiers"), the utter abnegation of any responsibility for his responses ("it was your moral garbage... that I just happened to come across."), references to myself as homicidal (and I'd be "charged with murder same as any other homicide"), and, of course, the grand ad hominem a gay man can say of another: physical decrepitude ("miserably ugly fat ass"). After all, he was "sickened."
Fooken duh, this reactionary's rants have nothing to do with me. But somehow I gave him a focus. I'm military. I'm dead sexy. I'm muscular, I'm masculine, I'm forward, I'm unsentimental. and I do not toe the party line. As for bodybuildRUF, he was thrown off the site. Will I seek legal counsel? Yeah, cuz I'm fooken tired of getting shit like this when all I want is a mate. I'm fooken tired of fags who think they're entitled to spew any kind of venom when they come across someone they can't screw because he's ideologically impure. (How do I know that's the case? His rants ain't arch enough to be sarcasm.)
So what world is it when the ability to speak makes one's opinion valid? It is the world built of particularity. "As a woman....", "As a black man....", "As a lesbian....", "As an Asian-American...." -- none of these things grant a de facto insight regarding a subject. Such an understanding of these signifiers is nothing but a return to the superstition of Rousseau's 'noble savage'.
I suppose the obvious question here -- for those who belong to the thinkin' fellers union -- is why I don't say nothing in my profile for blogspot. Well, if that's you, you're right. I don't say nothing, don't talk to no one...
THE PROFILE:
Former MOS 0311, 5565, looking for friends, and one good and lasting battlebuddy, former/AD military prefered; USMC much prefered. I am a humorless, blood-thirsty, baby-killing automaton. Civilians interested in contact should familiarize themselves with the points below:
How to Handle a Jarhead
1) Realize that when he says he will lay down his life for you, he actually means it; respond accordingly.
2) Realize that for him, flirting is a contact sport, like unto rugby (and while he may not be the brightest guy around, you'll be surprised at how what he says will hit you).
3) Know he is vulgar, has a juvenile sense of humor, swears a lot, but is still the kind of guy you'd be proud to take home to yer mother (and he'll probably inform your father that his intentions toward you are indeed honorable). He also has impeccable table manners.
4) Know that when he cries, he fooken means it; he has the same understanding of you. (There is enough in this life that will make him cry, but don't expect him to admit to it if pressed.)
5) Know that the motto, "Courage, honor, commitment" is not a collection of buzzwords to him; they guide him in how he lives his life. If he fails, gently remind him; he expects it of you.
6) Know that he will never be rich, but he will always share whatever he has.
7) Know that when he apologizes, you must never, ever tell anyone (unless one absolutely *must* be so informed).
8) Never, ever, under any circumstances ask what he's done in battle. He'll bring it up when or if it's time.
9) Know that he will fook you through the wall, make you shoot when your cock is soft, and has the sweetest pussy you'll ever get into.
10) It has been said of jarheads, "The best friend you'll ever have, the worst enemy you'll ever make. " Whoever said it wasn't kidding.
Further details at http://proverbsforparanoiacs.blogspot.com.
Inane responses will be handled in an appropriate manner. If masculinity is a fashion accessory for you -- most of you who suffer from this affliction refuse to recognize yourselves -- stay away. There are plenty of dorks to pork you; I'm not one of them.
THE EXCHANGE:
bodybuildRUF 2007-04-28 18:51:24
nice sentiments bud, too bad you & other military die-hards are having their "duty honor country" bullshit patriotism totally abused by mass-murderer war-criminal abject liars the likes of empty-headed "junior" bush and "big-time" corporate-mafioso cheney
BigDumbDawg 2007-04-28 20:16:12
Thanks for the insult. Perhaps you'd like to try again, only this time, say, "I don't know why any self-respecting gay man would ever want to be in the military."
bodybuildRUF
I don't know why a self-respecting American male of ANY persuasion would put up with participating in a military that has become such a reprehensible tool of mass murder & brutality under crypto-fascist Bush & Cheney. They give a flying fuck about freedom
BigDumbDawg
Why the fook are you giving me such a hassle? Did I ask for your opinion? NO. So why don't you just fook off to your own little corner and shut the fook up?
bodybuildRUF
btw, the baby-killer remark is not only disgusting & reprehensible (and evidently, not an uncommon activity perpetrated by our valiant stud soldiers in Iraqi civilian neighborhoods), but would subject you to the same charge of murder as any other homicide
BigDumbDawg
FOOKEN LEAVE ME ALONE!!! NOW! I DID NOT ASK FOR YOUR OPINION, YOU FOOKEN WROTE ME WITH ALL YOUR INSULTING GARBAGE! NOW FOOK OFF!! YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE MEN I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED! I AM NOT INTERESTED! LEAVE ME BE!
I have reported you to the webmasters of this site for your continuing harassment. Stop now, or I will pursue this matter in court.
bodybuildRUF
How dare you call me "morally reprehensible" when it is YOU who presents such disgusting immoral garbage in your BM profile that I merely happened to come across. Take your fucking phoney military bravado and shove it up your miserably ugly fat ass, pal
BigDumbDawg
Again, stop or I will pursue this matter in court. You are only building the case against you and BM.
bodybuildRUF
I'm sorry, but when I read you bragging that you are a "baby-killing automaton" (even if that is just your attempt at humorous bragadocio) I was sickened. Do you have any idea how many actual babies are incinerated every day by American bombing in Iraq.
BigDumbDawg
STOP WRITING TO ME!!!! NOW!!! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOWNOW NOW!!! I DO NOT WANT CONTACT WITH YOU!!! STOP WRITING ME!! YOU WROTE ME OF YOUR OWN ACCORD ONLY TO HURL INSULTS AT ME!!! STOP IT!!!NOW!!! THIS FOOKEN INSTANT!!! STOP IT! YOU WILL BE SUED FOR STALKING!
bodybuildRUF
Don't worry man, this is my last message. At first your reprehensible ravings made me angry (would you like me to link you to websites of actual photos of children murdered by America's military) but now I realize you are unhinged. Get professional help
BigDumbDawg
SHUT UP!!! JUST FOOKEN SHUT UP AND FOOKEN LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU FREAK!!!
THE COMMENTARY:
C'mon, it's a blog; there's always commentary. Aside from the entertainment value of a St. Petersburg-dwelling liberal fascist going for blood for no discernible reason, let's take a look at what he does.
I like the curiously sexualized language in reference to the despised military ("our valiant stud soldiers"), the utter abnegation of any responsibility for his responses ("it was your moral garbage... that I just happened to come across."), references to myself as homicidal (and I'd be "charged with murder same as any other homicide"), and, of course, the grand ad hominem a gay man can say of another: physical decrepitude ("miserably ugly fat ass"). After all, he was "sickened."
Fooken duh, this reactionary's rants have nothing to do with me. But somehow I gave him a focus. I'm military. I'm dead sexy. I'm muscular, I'm masculine, I'm forward, I'm unsentimental. and I do not toe the party line. As for bodybuildRUF, he was thrown off the site. Will I seek legal counsel? Yeah, cuz I'm fooken tired of getting shit like this when all I want is a mate. I'm fooken tired of fags who think they're entitled to spew any kind of venom when they come across someone they can't screw because he's ideologically impure. (How do I know that's the case? His rants ain't arch enough to be sarcasm.)
So what world is it when the ability to speak makes one's opinion valid? It is the world built of particularity. "As a woman....", "As a black man....", "As a lesbian....", "As an Asian-American...." -- none of these things grant a de facto insight regarding a subject. Such an understanding of these signifiers is nothing but a return to the superstition of Rousseau's 'noble savage'.
I suppose the obvious question here -- for those who belong to the thinkin' fellers union -- is why I don't say nothing in my profile for blogspot. Well, if that's you, you're right. I don't say nothing, don't talk to no one...
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Dawg Day Afternoon
This just in from Iron Nick (or IronNick) --
"lol, what an arrogant jerk! And you're worried about getting too many gropes? And comments about being hot??? Just goes to prove that you're not the only delusional dullard around. Me thinks you do protest too much, but there's good news--29 Plams is a great place for you to be planted. Maybe it could be re-named 30 Palms to include you, you cerrtainly have the nuts for it. Nevertheless, kudos for your musical talent--I admire you for that, and it's a convenient excuse if you'd ever have to tangle with a real man."
Now, we know the profile he was responding to; it was listed in the first post on this blog. (Go on, I'll wait while you reacquaint yourself with it....) It is responses like these that bring me to the ongoing question: just what the fook is it with fags that, upon reading my profile, they feel compelled to hurl bile and invective my way? I mean, these are guys who, one imagines, would ordinarily simply change the channel if James Dobson came on. What is it about reading a personal profile that so sets 'em off?
My theory -- and it's only a theory; there's no fooken way I'll ever be able to prove it -- is that they look at the pics, get all excited, and create this image of me in their bubbly li'l heads. Then they read the text, and it has nothing to do with the image they created. This hurts their feelings, so they (to borrow a word from the psych biz) decompensate. They vote democrat and decompensate when "their" candidate abandons them and votes for DOMA. They put a "No War in Iraq" bumpersticker on their car and are chagrined when Shrub maintains the rightness of his course, preaching perfectly pitched to the pitch-perfect choir. They actually believe that abortion as a medical procedure is threatened (exactly what this issue has to do with being queer, I'll never know; all the queer folks I know with kids went to elaborate lengths to plan for the births). They are the perfect enemy, just as easily manipulated, just as bloodthirsty as those they claim to oppose. And this prodigiously stupid battle will never end as long as the fundamental American outlook of us v them remains. Colony v nation, state v state, north v south, rich v poor, race v race. A wiser man than I once said, "The point is not to enlarge the circle of acceptance; the point is to erase the circle."
"lol, what an arrogant jerk! And you're worried about getting too many gropes? And comments about being hot??? Just goes to prove that you're not the only delusional dullard around. Me thinks you do protest too much, but there's good news--29 Plams is a great place for you to be planted. Maybe it could be re-named 30 Palms to include you, you cerrtainly have the nuts for it. Nevertheless, kudos for your musical talent--I admire you for that, and it's a convenient excuse if you'd ever have to tangle with a real man."
Now, we know the profile he was responding to; it was listed in the first post on this blog. (Go on, I'll wait while you reacquaint yourself with it....) It is responses like these that bring me to the ongoing question: just what the fook is it with fags that, upon reading my profile, they feel compelled to hurl bile and invective my way? I mean, these are guys who, one imagines, would ordinarily simply change the channel if James Dobson came on. What is it about reading a personal profile that so sets 'em off?
My theory -- and it's only a theory; there's no fooken way I'll ever be able to prove it -- is that they look at the pics, get all excited, and create this image of me in their bubbly li'l heads. Then they read the text, and it has nothing to do with the image they created. This hurts their feelings, so they (to borrow a word from the psych biz) decompensate. They vote democrat and decompensate when "their" candidate abandons them and votes for DOMA. They put a "No War in Iraq" bumpersticker on their car and are chagrined when Shrub maintains the rightness of his course, preaching perfectly pitched to the pitch-perfect choir. They actually believe that abortion as a medical procedure is threatened (exactly what this issue has to do with being queer, I'll never know; all the queer folks I know with kids went to elaborate lengths to plan for the births). They are the perfect enemy, just as easily manipulated, just as bloodthirsty as those they claim to oppose. And this prodigiously stupid battle will never end as long as the fundamental American outlook of us v them remains. Colony v nation, state v state, north v south, rich v poor, race v race. A wiser man than I once said, "The point is not to enlarge the circle of acceptance; the point is to erase the circle."
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Taking One for the Team
My buddy Hitman was deployed to the Sandbox four days ago, and I fooken miss him.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Post Scrip
Creativejuice, the feller in the previous post, felt compelled to respond to me. "And thank you for taking it upon yourself to judge me," he wrote, after I commended him for behaving like an adult.
What the fook is it with fags and judgment? He clearly prevaricates in his correspondence with me, yet when I point this out, it's judgment. Hmm.
Okay, there's this odd little philosophical brick laid in the foundation of Homoland (for those who just joined our story, Homoland is my name for the Castro district in San Francisco; it is a far better nomenclature than 'gay community' as far as I'm concerned). And this little brick sez, "We are not straight; we are gay. Therefore, gay is what straight is not." Next to it is a little brick that sez, "There are no standards. Our strength is in our diversity, and we are all different; judgment was used to belittle us and divide us, therefore judgment is bad."
There's just a teensy problem with such an understanding: without standards, you have mob rule. Community, by its nature, cannot exist without standards. C'mon, lambchop, think to the French revolution (and before you get snooty by asking 'which one?'), when they did away with months and years, and call their time Year One of the Revolution and so on, dissolved marriage as an institution, banned the church and jailed clergymen, squatting rights came to bear (didn't matter if you owned the land, merely that you lived on it). On and on. Tell me, who came to power? And what did ol' Robespierre do? And who destroyed him? And were they themselves destroyed? (Here's a lovely quote: "If the spring of popular government in time of peace is virtue, the springs of popular government in revolution are at once virtue and terror: virtue, without which terror is fatal; terror, without which virtue is powerless. Terror is nothing other than justice, prompt, severe, inflexible...It has been said that terror is the principle of despotic government. Does your government therefore resemble despotism? Yes, as the sword that gleams in the hands of the heroes of liberty resembles that with which the henchmen of tyranny are armed.") Let us remember these folks were lefties. (Go on with yer shit about Shrub; I ain't impressed. Do you actually believe you're saying something new about W. and his cronies?)
What about them Bolsheviks? Who succeeded them? And what sort of dictator was he? And what did he do?
My point is not "Oh, those wacky lefties." My point is what happens when you eschew standards egocentrically, thoughtlessly. When you say, "Let's make 'em up as we go along and reinvent ourselves and make our own society cuz those old ethics were just so tired and, well, they didn't speak to me; that's all about straight white men."
No, I didn't misspell the title to this entry. It's a little scrip for the odd syndrome at the heart of Homoland. Why is the act of pointing out a man's lies called judgmental? All you do is notice him lying.
What the fook is it with fags and judgment? He clearly prevaricates in his correspondence with me, yet when I point this out, it's judgment. Hmm.
Okay, there's this odd little philosophical brick laid in the foundation of Homoland (for those who just joined our story, Homoland is my name for the Castro district in San Francisco; it is a far better nomenclature than 'gay community' as far as I'm concerned). And this little brick sez, "We are not straight; we are gay. Therefore, gay is what straight is not." Next to it is a little brick that sez, "There are no standards. Our strength is in our diversity, and we are all different; judgment was used to belittle us and divide us, therefore judgment is bad."
There's just a teensy problem with such an understanding: without standards, you have mob rule. Community, by its nature, cannot exist without standards. C'mon, lambchop, think to the French revolution (and before you get snooty by asking 'which one?'), when they did away with months and years, and call their time Year One of the Revolution and so on, dissolved marriage as an institution, banned the church and jailed clergymen, squatting rights came to bear (didn't matter if you owned the land, merely that you lived on it). On and on. Tell me, who came to power? And what did ol' Robespierre do? And who destroyed him? And were they themselves destroyed? (Here's a lovely quote: "If the spring of popular government in time of peace is virtue, the springs of popular government in revolution are at once virtue and terror: virtue, without which terror is fatal; terror, without which virtue is powerless. Terror is nothing other than justice, prompt, severe, inflexible...It has been said that terror is the principle of despotic government. Does your government therefore resemble despotism? Yes, as the sword that gleams in the hands of the heroes of liberty resembles that with which the henchmen of tyranny are armed.") Let us remember these folks were lefties. (Go on with yer shit about Shrub; I ain't impressed. Do you actually believe you're saying something new about W. and his cronies?)
What about them Bolsheviks? Who succeeded them? And what sort of dictator was he? And what did he do?
My point is not "Oh, those wacky lefties." My point is what happens when you eschew standards egocentrically, thoughtlessly. When you say, "Let's make 'em up as we go along and reinvent ourselves and make our own society cuz those old ethics were just so tired and, well, they didn't speak to me; that's all about straight white men."
No, I didn't misspell the title to this entry. It's a little scrip for the odd syndrome at the heart of Homoland. Why is the act of pointing out a man's lies called judgmental? All you do is notice him lying.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Lurking for Love
Being the sort who looks for love in all the wrong places and being former, I will often start an online conversation with a guy if he states his location as FPO/APO AE or the like. Here is a transcript of an exchange prompted by such an opener, from a very popular men's (okay, fag) site; the correspondent, creativejuice, states in his profile that he is 50 years old:
BigDumbDawg
What branch you in?
creativejuice
branch?
BigDumbDawg
You state your location as APO AE. This leads one to believe you are deployed in the Arab Emirates. I inquired as to which branch of the military you're in.
creativejuicenope.
sorry. i'm in the states. denver in fact. not in the military.
BigDumbDawg
You may wish to edit your profile to reflect that.
creativejuice
if you read the description it says where i'm from but i will take that into consideration.
BigDumbDawg
Sir, I mean no offense. However, it is disrespectful to those servicemembers stationed in the Arab Emirates for someone who is not so deployed to give the appearance that he is.
creativejuice
understood and no offense taken but i'm not sure how i am giving the appearance that i am deployed. because my location says AE? could itbe possible that i might be employed there?
BigDumbDawg
Why lie? "APO AE" is a standardized abbreviation; that's how it gives the appearance you're overseas/military. You're how old and don't know this? You selected it and don't know this? Prevaricate as you wish, but please don't disrespect those deployed.
creativejuice
i see i hit a nerve with you and i wouldn't want that so it will be changed sir.
BigDumbDawg
Thank you for at long last behaving like an adult.
Okay, there's no real reason for thanking a grown man for behaving like one. Truly. What irks the fook outta me is that the guy sees no problem with misrepresenting himself in a disrespectful manner. When his lie is pointed out for what it is, he still ignores the fact that he lied, makes the matter *my* issue, then condescends to do the right thing. A bracingly American trait, that. And gay guys, particularly those on the political left, wonder how they contributed to the current political climate. If, as leftist types are wont to say, the personal is the political... well...?
Am I overreacting? Well, this *is* a fooken blog. Sheesh.
BigDumbDawg
What branch you in?
creativejuice
branch?
BigDumbDawg
You state your location as APO AE. This leads one to believe you are deployed in the Arab Emirates. I inquired as to which branch of the military you're in.
creativejuicenope.
sorry. i'm in the states. denver in fact. not in the military.
BigDumbDawg
You may wish to edit your profile to reflect that.
creativejuice
if you read the description it says where i'm from but i will take that into consideration.
BigDumbDawg
Sir, I mean no offense. However, it is disrespectful to those servicemembers stationed in the Arab Emirates for someone who is not so deployed to give the appearance that he is.
creativejuice
understood and no offense taken but i'm not sure how i am giving the appearance that i am deployed. because my location says AE? could itbe possible that i might be employed there?
BigDumbDawg
Why lie? "APO AE" is a standardized abbreviation; that's how it gives the appearance you're overseas/military. You're how old and don't know this? You selected it and don't know this? Prevaricate as you wish, but please don't disrespect those deployed.
creativejuice
i see i hit a nerve with you and i wouldn't want that so it will be changed sir.
BigDumbDawg
Thank you for at long last behaving like an adult.
Okay, there's no real reason for thanking a grown man for behaving like one. Truly. What irks the fook outta me is that the guy sees no problem with misrepresenting himself in a disrespectful manner. When his lie is pointed out for what it is, he still ignores the fact that he lied, makes the matter *my* issue, then condescends to do the right thing. A bracingly American trait, that. And gay guys, particularly those on the political left, wonder how they contributed to the current political climate. If, as leftist types are wont to say, the personal is the political... well...?
Am I overreacting? Well, this *is* a fooken blog. Sheesh.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
"Your Eclectedness...forgive me if my humble "grope" has in any way offended or perturbed you...I read your "Fooken" profile, and now realize why you are single...I must say, you have an impressive vocabulary, hombre, and, in my presumably worthless opinion, which you most likely will confirm, you are the first "Redneck/Savant" I've ever encountered here; or anywhere. Just curious, did you vote for Bush, chico? I leave you now, Your Immenceness...forgive...I am dirt before you...:-) *kiss, kiss*"
One always starts with an arresting opening. The paragraph above was written by a feller from Victoria BC, having been so moved by an online profile of mine.
The profile:
"Call me Deke. Am very much the big bro type; don't call me 'dad', don't call me 'sir'. The last thing I want to hear out of your ill-mannered and uninformed cakehole is how hot you think I am. Looking for companionship and one lasting battlebuddy; redheads, muscles, ink, former and AD military, brains, heart are all desirable. Younger than me and shorter than me sometimes produces an effect over which I have no control. Honesty is essential; strength that matches mine is compelling. Make conversation, treat me with simple respect and we'll get along fine. Former MOS 0311 and 5565; prefer own species (jarhead) for, uh, FTX and related merriment. I play rough. BC/KO, electro, singletails, chastity, gelding, guns, knives, piercing. I'd just as soon blacken a man's eyes or split his lips as kiss him. Yeah, I'm single. Live in fear. Gropes are summarily ignored; if you can't make conversation and must rely on prefabricated gestures, return to the cliched hell in which you surely live.
"I play piano (I'm damn good) and alto sax (I need improvement). Groove on Messiaen, Debussy, Reich, Crumb, Stravinsky and Hildegarde of Bingen; enjoy Cannonball Adderley and Bill Evans, too. I read a lot (Pynchon, McCarthy, Delillo), enjoy old movies (big James Cagney and Edward G. Robinson fan), good food, camping, hiking and swimming nekkid. Fooken love weight-training, rugby (I play lock) and shooting (own a Taurus PT99, pre-brady, bwar-har-har). The quickest way to piss me off is to treat me like an object or an accessory (use of the word "look" as a noun puts me in mind of fingernails on a chalkboard); this also means I don't enjoy hook-ups or one-offs. Do I have an ideal mate? Yeah, I do; you probably aren't him, but ya could try to impress me. If HIV status is an issue, I'm not you're man; this is not a circuitous way of revealing my sero-status, rather it is a direct way of saying I don't tolerate the petty bullshit associated with twats who demand I be one or the other before they'll acknowledge my humanity or desirability."
The 'grope' that he mentions refers to a prefabricated message the site provides, presumably for, well, hell, I dunno. If a guy can't make conversation face to face, does providing him with a pre-written option truly do any good? What sort of association could one have with a man who can't speak for himself? -- because he's "shy" or he "never knows what to say." To paraphrase, if you can't say anything, don't say anything at all.
One always starts with an arresting opening. The paragraph above was written by a feller from Victoria BC, having been so moved by an online profile of mine.
The profile:
"Call me Deke. Am very much the big bro type; don't call me 'dad', don't call me 'sir'. The last thing I want to hear out of your ill-mannered and uninformed cakehole is how hot you think I am. Looking for companionship and one lasting battlebuddy; redheads, muscles, ink, former and AD military, brains, heart are all desirable. Younger than me and shorter than me sometimes produces an effect over which I have no control. Honesty is essential; strength that matches mine is compelling. Make conversation, treat me with simple respect and we'll get along fine. Former MOS 0311 and 5565; prefer own species (jarhead) for, uh, FTX and related merriment. I play rough. BC/KO, electro, singletails, chastity, gelding, guns, knives, piercing. I'd just as soon blacken a man's eyes or split his lips as kiss him. Yeah, I'm single. Live in fear. Gropes are summarily ignored; if you can't make conversation and must rely on prefabricated gestures, return to the cliched hell in which you surely live.
"I play piano (I'm damn good) and alto sax (I need improvement). Groove on Messiaen, Debussy, Reich, Crumb, Stravinsky and Hildegarde of Bingen; enjoy Cannonball Adderley and Bill Evans, too. I read a lot (Pynchon, McCarthy, Delillo), enjoy old movies (big James Cagney and Edward G. Robinson fan), good food, camping, hiking and swimming nekkid. Fooken love weight-training, rugby (I play lock) and shooting (own a Taurus PT99, pre-brady, bwar-har-har). The quickest way to piss me off is to treat me like an object or an accessory (use of the word "look" as a noun puts me in mind of fingernails on a chalkboard); this also means I don't enjoy hook-ups or one-offs. Do I have an ideal mate? Yeah, I do; you probably aren't him, but ya could try to impress me. If HIV status is an issue, I'm not you're man; this is not a circuitous way of revealing my sero-status, rather it is a direct way of saying I don't tolerate the petty bullshit associated with twats who demand I be one or the other before they'll acknowledge my humanity or desirability."
The 'grope' that he mentions refers to a prefabricated message the site provides, presumably for, well, hell, I dunno. If a guy can't make conversation face to face, does providing him with a pre-written option truly do any good? What sort of association could one have with a man who can't speak for himself? -- because he's "shy" or he "never knows what to say." To paraphrase, if you can't say anything, don't say anything at all.
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