Am currently recuperating from hernia repair. Two things:
Thing 1 -- I really fooken hate demerol. Makes me moody for about a week.
Thing 2 -- I could use a good houseboy. I fooken hate it when chores get away from me; this place is a fooken dump.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Exsqueeze Me?
This just in:
getmeguy
(04/11 03:06 pm)
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww man you and that dog soooooo cute hooo you cough my soft side of me
Whisky tango foxtrot, over.
getmeguy
(04/11 03:06 pm)
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww man you and that dog soooooo cute hooo you cough my soft side of me
Whisky tango foxtrot, over.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Two Days Ago in History
My buddy Links deployed to Afghanistan on Saturday. I miss him like hell. He's with my former unit, so I know he's in excellent hands. But godfookendammit, I'm getting real fooken tired of this shit.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Notes on Hot
There's a reason each profile I write online contains the sentence, "Don't give a shit if you think I'm hot; save that bullshit for someone else." Sometimes it's, "Comments, like "you're hot", "hey stud", "hi handsome", "woof" or similar bullshit will simply be ignored (in fact, calling me 'hot' will likely piss me off; if you can't refrain from so commenting, be prepared for a negative response)." It's cuz calling a guy 'hot' communicates nothing; it is a reflection one man's desire for another. "I think you're sex-worthy" is pretty damn dull in terms of conversation, particularly since I ask a man to impress me with his sense of purpose and sense of self.
If some stranger tells me I'm fookable, I'm not impressed. So he finds me fookable; he may rent me for a tidy sum. Most often, the next thing out of his mouth is, "Use me, abuse me." And I am interested in this invitation to his selfishness cuz why?
When I tell a guy that I don't care if he thinks I'm hot, he often responds with disbelief or enmity. "What? You don't care if people don't think you're hot?" as if being hot is the only reason to live.
Sure, I'm as big a sucker for pulchritude as any man. But I have no reason to believe some stranger will be interested in that particular aspect of my opinion. Besides, if I go out to suck down a few beers and sink a few pool balls, what does it matter? I'll talk to anyone; that's the essence of socializing. Ya go out, meet folks ya don't know, spend some time engaged in pleasant conversation, enjoy their mere company. It's pretty ordinary fun, and I like it.
Personally, I think I'm kinda ugly, but I admit to a gift for making ugly look good. I kinda like ugly guys -- Harvey Keitel, Dick Butkus, Gunny Clausen, SSgt Farris -- because their faces have character. They are infinitely memorable; they have a timeless integrity. I don't show my face here cuz it got hit by a truck some years ago; one side has plenty of scarring, and part of my ear is lopped off. An ugly buddy will never lie to you; he has nothing to prove to himself or the world.
Okay, there's another reason I'm reluctant to show my face here -- I'm more interested in people responding to the written word.
If some stranger tells me I'm fookable, I'm not impressed. So he finds me fookable; he may rent me for a tidy sum. Most often, the next thing out of his mouth is, "Use me, abuse me." And I am interested in this invitation to his selfishness cuz why?
When I tell a guy that I don't care if he thinks I'm hot, he often responds with disbelief or enmity. "What? You don't care if people don't think you're hot?" as if being hot is the only reason to live.
Sure, I'm as big a sucker for pulchritude as any man. But I have no reason to believe some stranger will be interested in that particular aspect of my opinion. Besides, if I go out to suck down a few beers and sink a few pool balls, what does it matter? I'll talk to anyone; that's the essence of socializing. Ya go out, meet folks ya don't know, spend some time engaged in pleasant conversation, enjoy their mere company. It's pretty ordinary fun, and I like it.
Personally, I think I'm kinda ugly, but I admit to a gift for making ugly look good. I kinda like ugly guys -- Harvey Keitel, Dick Butkus, Gunny Clausen, SSgt Farris -- because their faces have character. They are infinitely memorable; they have a timeless integrity. I don't show my face here cuz it got hit by a truck some years ago; one side has plenty of scarring, and part of my ear is lopped off. An ugly buddy will never lie to you; he has nothing to prove to himself or the world.
Okay, there's another reason I'm reluctant to show my face here -- I'm more interested in people responding to the written word.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Firewatch on Whelping Day
I celebrated my 46th birthday by getting a haircut. I look fooken sharp. No, you can't see it; I look like every other fooken jarhead. And it was Sunday.
Still going blind, still cranky, still looking for permanent quarters. Currently shacked up in a motel here in Stumps; the building is largely populated by other devildawgs, and this has a certain measure of comfort.
I've been having a couple nights where I am compelled to keep watch. Not that I'm particularly annoyed by keeping watch; indeed, it is one of my favorite duties. But there are times when I don't have watch, when I needn't be vigilant, yet I am pointedly observant and extremely aware of my surroundings. It takes a special touch to calm me down on such nights. There are two men in this world who have such a touch; one is my buddy Joe, who is in overseas for three weeks, and the other is a former b/f who, even though he is so troubled as to believe the world (and I) hates him, is still among a select few treasured individuals who have places in my heart. We'll call him Echo Five.
I don't know how Joe or Echo Five do it. They know how to get my attention when I'm so far gone I don't respond to my name. They know how to remind me of my better angels, no matter how bad I want to tear out some cockbite's throat. They can stop me before I do something shameful.
I wish I knew where Echo Five was, but he will not talk to me; he tells himself I hate him, though I do not. He tells himself he is unworthy of love. He tells himself he is a bad man, when in his heart and soul, he is not. I often think of him when I keep watch like this.
I miss my brothers. I want them with me. Echo Five, this is Alphadawg, come back. Dragon 17, this is Alphadawg, come back. 40 Wax, Hitman, Bri-baby, Red Dawg, this is Alphadawg actual, come back.
Still going blind, still cranky, still looking for permanent quarters. Currently shacked up in a motel here in Stumps; the building is largely populated by other devildawgs, and this has a certain measure of comfort.
I've been having a couple nights where I am compelled to keep watch. Not that I'm particularly annoyed by keeping watch; indeed, it is one of my favorite duties. But there are times when I don't have watch, when I needn't be vigilant, yet I am pointedly observant and extremely aware of my surroundings. It takes a special touch to calm me down on such nights. There are two men in this world who have such a touch; one is my buddy Joe, who is in overseas for three weeks, and the other is a former b/f who, even though he is so troubled as to believe the world (and I) hates him, is still among a select few treasured individuals who have places in my heart. We'll call him Echo Five.
I don't know how Joe or Echo Five do it. They know how to get my attention when I'm so far gone I don't respond to my name. They know how to remind me of my better angels, no matter how bad I want to tear out some cockbite's throat. They can stop me before I do something shameful.
I wish I knew where Echo Five was, but he will not talk to me; he tells himself I hate him, though I do not. He tells himself he is unworthy of love. He tells himself he is a bad man, when in his heart and soul, he is not. I often think of him when I keep watch like this.
I miss my brothers. I want them with me. Echo Five, this is Alphadawg, come back. Dragon 17, this is Alphadawg, come back. 40 Wax, Hitman, Bri-baby, Red Dawg, this is Alphadawg actual, come back.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
A Nous La Liberte
seektopstud
(01/30 04:01 am)
seektopstud sent you a grope.
BigDumbDawg
(01/30 11:10 am)
Something on yer mind?
seektopstud
(01/30 02:20 pm)
Dang guy you are on my mind wish I was in CA. I like your rugged handsome looks. Gotta say you are one hott fucker thx from O'Dell
BigDumbDawg
(01/30 07:49 pm)
Read the profile; see what happens, heh heh.
seektopstud
(01/31 04:20 pm)
well read your profile. it reads like you prob will be single for a long time.looks is not an issue with me. but what is inside a man.pretty is for girls. to hit another is disrespect and how can you as a man disrespect and be respected.I may be way off base but the whole bio is not about you but of how great you are unto yourself and to be your partner a guy would have to be like you real life its just not going to happen so the Question I have for you is this bio meant to scare people off from you as For being HIV not an issue .that can be worked around neg here. my name is O'Dell and do think you are a very handsome man outwardly As for me no time for gay drama never been in a gay bar gay nothing. I like hunting camping fishing horse backing biking hiking weightlifting fleamarkets and home life and a one on one relation ship
BigDumbDawg
(01/31 05:13 pm)
You and I are clearly not meant to know one another.
Deke
seektopstud
(02/01 11:44 am)
maybe so but I gotta say I still like your rugged good looks
BigDumbDawg
(02/01 12:23 pm)
And I'm sure such reflections on your taste in men will appreciate in the fullness of time. Now, leave me be.
I sigh for the world. I weep for language, particularly for an appalling lack of punctuation, but I fooken sigh for the world.
(01/30 04:01 am)
seektopstud sent you a grope.
BigDumbDawg
(01/30 11:10 am)
Something on yer mind?
seektopstud
(01/30 02:20 pm)
Dang guy you are on my mind wish I was in CA. I like your rugged handsome looks. Gotta say you are one hott fucker thx from O'Dell
BigDumbDawg
(01/30 07:49 pm)
Read the profile; see what happens, heh heh.
seektopstud
(01/31 04:20 pm)
well read your profile. it reads like you prob will be single for a long time.looks is not an issue with me. but what is inside a man.pretty is for girls. to hit another is disrespect and how can you as a man disrespect and be respected.I may be way off base but the whole bio is not about you but of how great you are unto yourself and to be your partner a guy would have to be like you real life its just not going to happen so the Question I have for you is this bio meant to scare people off from you as For being HIV not an issue .that can be worked around neg here. my name is O'Dell and do think you are a very handsome man outwardly As for me no time for gay drama never been in a gay bar gay nothing. I like hunting camping fishing horse backing biking hiking weightlifting fleamarkets and home life and a one on one relation ship
BigDumbDawg
(01/31 05:13 pm)
You and I are clearly not meant to know one another.
Deke
seektopstud
(02/01 11:44 am)
maybe so but I gotta say I still like your rugged good looks
BigDumbDawg
(02/01 12:23 pm)
And I'm sure such reflections on your taste in men will appreciate in the fullness of time. Now, leave me be.
I sigh for the world. I weep for language, particularly for an appalling lack of punctuation, but I fooken sigh for the world.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Diplomatic Immunity
Onward into the fog -- italmex sez of himself, "Very successful,single, well-grounded, fit and stable, ex-jock, ex-military masculine man enjoys the company of other fit masculine guys who are into sports, outdoors and simple fun. The pic is recent and accurate. I'm buddhist, which means low stress, never been drunk and never done drugs. These factors, plus genetics, has kept me looking and feeling young. I have no medical, or mental issues I have to deal with at this stage in my life, (or i'm too crazy to know any better!). Nothing is more attractive to me than to see a mature man, over 40, who is in great shape physically and has a strong mental, physical and spiritual foundation."
I'm always interested in conversing with other former service types, so I opened with a customary query --
BigDumbDawg
(01/27 12:08 am)
Which branch of the service were you in?
Deke
italmex
(01/27 08:54 am)
Navy!
Jim
BigDumbDawg
(01/27 01:08 pm)
I am certain that despite that small lapse in good judgment, you are a good man. Where were you stationed?
Spent most of my time at Camp Pendleton with a couple TDY to Stumps (and a week at Lejeune). Swore I'd never return here of my own free will, yet here I am, and the longer I stay, the more it feels like home.
Deke
italmex
(01/27 04:39 pm)
My last duty station was in alameda, but many years ago (mid 70's), i was an enlisted grunt corpman in Camp Pendleton; stationed at camp margarita...had fun..
29 palms is not what i'd call shangrila, but if you're happy there, more power to ya bud..
BigDumbDawg
(01/27 04:48 pm)
Holy shit -- they had you in the fooken sticks at Pen. I was mainside, but would spend the occasional night at Margarita or Horno.
Stumps is indeed a pit. The base, that is, heh heh. Okay, the town isn't much better, but the longer I stay, the more it feels like home. I like having other devildawgs around me; they are my people.
Corpsman? I owe you beer on general principle.
Deke
italmex
(01/27 04:56 pm)
thas right...little respect around here is much appreciated...retired as an "O'...LCDR...surface warfare officer..
BigDumbDawg
(01/27 06:17 pm)
Fook, now I'm conflicted. I'd have to piss in yer coffee for being SWO, but must ply you with beer for being a corpsman. We'll go with the beer.
Exited as GySGT. Have all the warmth of the rank, too, heh heh.
Deke
italmex
(01/27 06:20 pm)
you must be very popular at the tool shed in Palm springs...
BigDumbDawg
(01/27 06:33 pm)
I wouldn't know; I don't go there. Too damn loud, don't care for the crowd.
italmex
(01/27 07:13 pm)
hmm, totally understand...are u poz bud?
BigDumbDawg
(01/27 07:34 pm)
Am I poz? That's a helluva question to ask a stranger. What's your interest?
Deke
italmex
(01/27 07:37 pm)
just curious...are u offended by that? if so, why?
BigDumbDawg
(01/27 07:43 pm)
Bucko, if you are unable to respect a man's boundaries on face value, I do not feel compelled to justify mine. As I said, it's a helluva question to ask a stranger.
My opinion regarding HIV status is in my profile.
italmex
(01/27 07:46 pm)
sounds like you got some issues bro...
maybe your profile shoulda said BigDumbAss..
BigDumbDawg
(01/27 08:49 pm)
Maybe yours shoulda said SWO_Syndrome.
-------------
"I'm a Buddhist, which means low stress, never been drunk and never done drugs." That's gotta be the strangest post-hoc reasoning I've come across. I guess it also means, "I'm a pompous cockbite who recognizes the validity of his own feelings above those of others, which means I'm allowed to ask loaded questions for small talk."
My line on HIV in the profile? "If HIV status is an issue, I'm not you're man; this is not a circuitous way of revealing my sero-status, rather it is a direct way of saying I don't tolerate the petty bullshit associated with twats who demand I be one or the other before they'll acknowledge my humanity or desirability."
When did making boundaries clear come to mean "having issues"?
I'm always interested in conversing with other former service types, so I opened with a customary query --
BigDumbDawg
(01/27 12:08 am)
Which branch of the service were you in?
Deke
italmex
(01/27 08:54 am)
Navy!
Jim
BigDumbDawg
(01/27 01:08 pm)
I am certain that despite that small lapse in good judgment, you are a good man. Where were you stationed?
Spent most of my time at Camp Pendleton with a couple TDY to Stumps (and a week at Lejeune). Swore I'd never return here of my own free will, yet here I am, and the longer I stay, the more it feels like home.
Deke
italmex
(01/27 04:39 pm)
My last duty station was in alameda, but many years ago (mid 70's), i was an enlisted grunt corpman in Camp Pendleton; stationed at camp margarita...had fun..
29 palms is not what i'd call shangrila, but if you're happy there, more power to ya bud..
BigDumbDawg
(01/27 04:48 pm)
Holy shit -- they had you in the fooken sticks at Pen. I was mainside, but would spend the occasional night at Margarita or Horno.
Stumps is indeed a pit. The base, that is, heh heh. Okay, the town isn't much better, but the longer I stay, the more it feels like home. I like having other devildawgs around me; they are my people.
Corpsman? I owe you beer on general principle.
Deke
italmex
(01/27 04:56 pm)
thas right...little respect around here is much appreciated...retired as an "O'...LCDR...surface warfare officer..
BigDumbDawg
(01/27 06:17 pm)
Fook, now I'm conflicted. I'd have to piss in yer coffee for being SWO, but must ply you with beer for being a corpsman. We'll go with the beer.
Exited as GySGT. Have all the warmth of the rank, too, heh heh.
Deke
italmex
(01/27 06:20 pm)
you must be very popular at the tool shed in Palm springs...
BigDumbDawg
(01/27 06:33 pm)
I wouldn't know; I don't go there. Too damn loud, don't care for the crowd.
italmex
(01/27 07:13 pm)
hmm, totally understand...are u poz bud?
BigDumbDawg
(01/27 07:34 pm)
Am I poz? That's a helluva question to ask a stranger. What's your interest?
Deke
italmex
(01/27 07:37 pm)
just curious...are u offended by that? if so, why?
BigDumbDawg
(01/27 07:43 pm)
Bucko, if you are unable to respect a man's boundaries on face value, I do not feel compelled to justify mine. As I said, it's a helluva question to ask a stranger.
My opinion regarding HIV status is in my profile.
italmex
(01/27 07:46 pm)
sounds like you got some issues bro...
maybe your profile shoulda said BigDumbAss..
BigDumbDawg
(01/27 08:49 pm)
Maybe yours shoulda said SWO_Syndrome.
-------------
"I'm a Buddhist, which means low stress, never been drunk and never done drugs." That's gotta be the strangest post-hoc reasoning I've come across. I guess it also means, "I'm a pompous cockbite who recognizes the validity of his own feelings above those of others, which means I'm allowed to ask loaded questions for small talk."
My line on HIV in the profile? "If HIV status is an issue, I'm not you're man; this is not a circuitous way of revealing my sero-status, rather it is a direct way of saying I don't tolerate the petty bullshit associated with twats who demand I be one or the other before they'll acknowledge my humanity or desirability."
When did making boundaries clear come to mean "having issues"?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)